Rather than having a plan in your head from the beginning, work to understand your partner’s abilities, capabilities and needs before setting your plans … Don’t be a ‘my-way-or-the-highway’ kind of person.

This goes both ways:

As a Top, you may want to see your partner tied in a strict strappado position, but if they are unable to have their arms behind their back for a long period of time, you need to do something else.

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Kajira Blue tied in a position like the logo for TheDuchy

Kajira Blue tied in a position like the logo for TheDuchy

As a bottom, you may want to be suspended, but if both you and your partner have not yet developed the skills to do that, that will be something to build up to, not something to try tonight.

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Blue suspended in performance - 2025-02-08

Blue suspended in performance - 2025-02-08