DBRT 009: Tying with Hekate for the first time

I have officially plunged in! My friend Hekate came over the other night to tie with me and it went very well!! As well as a first experience can be expected to go. We chatted and snacked for a while at first. Caught up on personal, family, and job related news. Commented on the birds flying outside the window. Joked around, and shared the photos Master and I took while traveling. I shared my thoughts running up to this project (Diary of a Baby Rope Top), and let her read the first two entries in my diary. Hekate was receptive, and seemed to relate to the things I was saying. I hope others do as well.

 

She changed into a more rope friendly outfit (stretchy, comfy, close to the skin). I was awkward at first. Touching someone else’s body feels strange when there isn’t an air of professionalism or sexuality present. It’s a form of physical intimacy that I haven’t encountered before. Something between erotic and platonic. I’m not sure exactly where.

 

I started with a Shinju, a Waitress tie with two Extended Lark’s Head Double Columns on her arms and wrists. Then I untied the wrists and tied her thigh to her calf with a Double Column. Sort of like a Frog Tie, but further away from the ankle. She is sensitive on the front of her calf, and Master said I had tied the band too tight to start with. He came by to give me a few pointers a little ways into things and showed me another way to tie off the Double Column that was more comfortable and secure for that specific application. I improvised a little with a single column which turned into a leg ladder running up her left leg. After a while I started to have some fun and shake off some of the awkwardness and nerves. I got more comfortable touching her. I stopped purposely avoiding body contact.

 

One of my goals for this project is to learn how to create a connective and emotionally gratifying experience for other people. When I brought this up while tying Hekate, Master instructed me to take up more space. Instead of kneeling behind her with both of my knees on the floor, He told me to place one of my feet on the floor in front of me, bracing Hekate’s back with the side of my knee. Suddenly I felt much more comfortable and confident. Not only was I using mechanical advantage to stabilize my upper body, but I was also taking control of my environment.

 

As a young woman, I have been conditioned for most of my life to make myself smaller. I’ve been told to cross my legs when sitting down, wear flat shoes around shorter men, and apologize profusely when there is the slightest possibility that I was in someone’s way. I realize now that that instinct, to make myself smaller, is a pretty significant part of how I approach many parts of my life. What attracts me to this project, to this new skillset, is the ability to flip that instinct on its head. I have so much admiration for the women in this world who can take up space. I want to be like them.

The rope itself didn’t last very long. I ran out of ideas and being the one “in charge” for a change was more difficult for me than I thought it would be. I’m used to being the one who looks to others for direction, this time I was the one Hekate was looking to. And I didn’t feel like I had much of a direction at all. We talked a lot. My playlist helped with the nervous energy I was bringing to the table. When I get nervous I tend to talk and talk and talk. In this case, I could talk about the music that was playing while anxiously fumbling around with my lines.

 

After a while Master ordered some pizza and all three of us watched Megamind (a hilarious and oddly perfect way to cap off the evening). I stuffed myself with tasty treats (Hekate brought macarons to share) and before long we had to say goodbye.

 

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While I was wrapping up my ropes, Master and I got to talking about my goals. What I actually want to do with rope. At this moment in time, I really want to be able to assume physical control over someone quickly. With just a bit of rope I want to make them aware that they are suddenly very stuck, but I also want to be able to tie a wide range of people.

~ Step into my parlor said the spider to the fly ~

 

With this in mind, Master experimented with an Ebi variation that kept my arms in front of my body. I was absolutely stuck with just a single length of rope. He talked me through His process; how He pushed my body down while pulling up on the rope. So simple, yet a small gasp escaped my mouth when He did it. Those little tricks have such a disproportionate impact. Master rolled me around on the mat for a while, playing with the different orientations I was trapped in. I had some funny feelings in my left foot, but they quickly subsided after the tie was released. I might have been more comfortable if I had warmed up and stretched beforehand.

 

Learning to tie is giving me a new appreciation for the work and skill my Master has developed in kink, in rope, and in life. Little moments like tightening the rope with intention and pushing my body around made such an impact on me. I was a bit dazed afterwards. I think I also need to be prioritizing more focused playtime with Him. He’s so good at it.

 

Takeaways:

• Take up space! Making yourself and your movements bigger helps a lot.
• Put yourself at a mechanical advantage when supporting your bottom. Kneeling on one knee while keeping the other leg propped up allows you to support your partner with your body while maintaining use of your arms.
• I am very timid about interacting with someone else’s body right now.

This writing is part of a series called “Diary of a Baby Rope Top” by Kajira Blue, the rest of which can be found at TheDuchy.com/blogs.

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