“Put rope around my neck!”
Wait, what!? I thought that was one of the big no-nos of rope. Do people actually do that!?
Neck Rope – The Beginners Rule: Don’t
An important rule often taught when beginning to learn rope is: “never put rope around the neck”.
It is a good rule for beginners. Rope is already edge play – more serious injuries are attributed to rope than to any other form of BDSM play other than breath play – and putting rope on a highly sensitive area like the neck obviously increases that risks.
…But many people love the feeling of rope around the neck and incorporate it in their exploration and play.
Neck Rope – The More Nuanced Rules
This is not an endorsement of this activity, but if you feel compelled to explore rope collars and leashes, a more nuanced set of rules are needed. We like these:
- Niemals put a collapsing loop around the neck.
- Do not make the collar too tight (give 3-4 fingers of space under the collar instead of the normal 2).
- Do not put sustained pressure across the front of the neck.
- Niemals jerk a leash.
Exploring these rules
1. Never put a collapsing loop around the neck
- This one is obvious. If the loop can tighten when the tail is pulled, it can choke the person or cause compression injuries. This is highly dangerous. For more detail, review the Blood Flow and Circulation Loss section of the Nerves & Circulation page.
2. Do not make the collar too tight.
- Even if the collar cannot collapse, if it is too tight, it can still cause the same problems.
- Even if the collar seems fine when originally tied, sometimes the lines move around a bit when put under tension, this can change how they may impact the skin and things under the skin like blood vessels and nerves.
- When tying the collar, give your partner 3-4 fingers of space under the ropes instead of the normal 2.
3. Do not put sustained pressure across the front of the neck or both front sides of the neck.
- Pressure across the front of the neck — either significant sustained pressure or a sudden jerk — potentially impacts two areas of major risk:
- Pressure that is applied gently, then allowed to slacken (think “whoa, there” like to a horse), should not normally pose material risk unless complications apply. As with everything, discuss with your partner.
- Risk Area 1: The trachea — the pipe leading to the lungs — is very close to the surface on front of the neck. Damage to the trachea can lead to death.
- Risk Area 2: Arteries and veins that supply blood to the brain run close to the surface on the front/side of the neck, next to the trachea. Impinging blood flow to the brain can cause dizziness, unconsciousness and even death. Also, in unusual and specific circumstances, impinging blood can lead to clotting, which can lead to stroke.
4. Never jerk a leash.
- The cervical vertebrae of the spine are delicate. Nerves travel down the center of the spine and the out the sides of the spine between the vertebrae to provide sensory and motor function to various parts of the body. Jerking a leash can put great pressure on just one or two vertebrae, which can cause them to move out of their natural alignment. This can lead to pinched nerves or even greater damage. A pinched nerve can be serious, leading to loss of sensation (the ability to feel/the sense of touch) or even loss of motor function (the ability to move).
- This is true of any and all creatures, not just your two-legged pets.
